If you're going to dare besmirch the good name of Bill Belichick, after all he's done to improve the quality of life for the soulless wretches who inhabit this board, you better not have anything embarassing in your past, because we will use it against you, Bob.

In the Novemeber, 2001 issue of Maxim, they interviewed former "Wild on E!" star and Nomar squeeze, the pluperfectly adorable Jules Asner. Here's what she had to say about the Man Who Called Out Belichick:

Hey, speaking of dorks, have you had the chance to meet any of your fellow newspeople?
Well, I sort of met Bob Costas once. I was at a hotel in New York and had to change rooms, but I forgot my underwear in the first room. I didn’t think it was a big deal, so I just went and got them. But when the elevator door opened, Bob Costas got in and saw me standing there clutching my underthings. And he’s not that tall, so that’s exactly where his sight line was.

So when he's not sniffing jocks, the vertically challenged Costas is skulking around in hotel elevators, waiting for some unsuspecting cute girlfriend of a legendary shortstop so he can make her feel uncomfortable while he sniffs her panties. Freak.

The lesson here is Do Not F- With Bill Belichick.