Random Thoughts

The following quote is From Peter Gammons’ Sunday blog, about Roger Clemens’ “training habits:”

“All the Team USA pitchers — and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann — were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren’t ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. “He doesn’t want to get comfortable on the mound,” says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix. “

Clemens puts icy hot on his dick?   Well that explains the day he wore his teenage mutant ninja turtle shoelaces, gobs of eye black and got ejected in the first inning of the ALCS vs. Oakland.  I’d be in a bad mood too.

The storied rivalry of the Boston Red Sox vs. the Tampa Bay Devil Rays continued today in Spring Training as Julian "Wildcard" Tavaraz sucker punched Tampa Bay's Joey Gathright as he slid into home plate with Tavarez covering. Naturally the benches cleared which will tend to happen when somebody gets punched in the face. The Devil Rays responded to the sucker punch in the bottom of the eighth when DRays pitcher Wayne Franklin beamed newly acquired Red Sox first baseman Hee-Seop Choi. When asked about hitting Hee-Seop Choi after the game Franklin responded by saying Brian Dauchbach was unavailable, so Hee Seop Choi will have to suffice. As a side note, I heard Josh Beckett talking about how the Sox front office only signed quality character guys this off-season. I'm not quite sure that Tavarez falls into this catergory.

I'm new to the Cincy area but I'm psyched to get out and check out the scene. I'm looking for that special someone who likes to kick back, have some drinks and listen to some tunes. Also, that special someone needs to be 18-21- NO EXCEPTIONS! There are a few things I look for in a woman. One, immaturity. If I wanted to hang out with chicks who were all into their jobs or their careers, I wouldn't be getting an apartment just two blocks away from the U of Cincinnati campus- GO BEARCATS! (lol!) Two, I want a girl who's toned. I'm really into Pilates and working out and I want my special lady to take care of herself. I'll be honest- I've hooked up with my fair share of fatties (damn you, kamikaze shots!) but the girls who really turn me on are chicks with rock hard abs, long legs and fake ID's. Three, you can't freak out when you find out I'm married- that's a deal-breaker. Four, you HAVE to like music. Besides my job (I'm kind of a big deal so I don't want to write what I do but here's a hint- I'll be painting the town REDS in April), my passion is my music. I'm actually a pretty accomplished musician. I've released an album and played with some pretty kickass musicians including Peter Gammons and Theo "I Stab People in the Back" Epstein (he's a wicked big dork in real life lol!) But if you want to hang you have to be into music 'cuz it's my life and I crave approval. So, I guess that's it. I'll be in town in about two weeks and can't wait to hit the clubs or your dorm room. I'll bring the Natty Light!

·      °    this is in or around Cincinnati

·     °     no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests but it is ok to contact www.barstoolsports.com

I think I mentioned this before, but El Presidente tried to snag Kelly Barons to do an interview with the Stool.   For those of you not in the know, Kelly Barons is the hot ball girl for the Red Sox and now the host of that Bruins show on NESN.  I actually called NESN and asked to speak with her, but they wouldn’t put me in touch with her and I never heard back from them.  Apparently some people don’t take the Stool seriously or the Bruins are just so hot they don't need any extra publicity.  Anyway I was eating lunch at Game On! on Friday and wouldn’t you know who came waltzing through the door.   Good old Kelly Barons.   She only stayed for like two seconds before leaving which didn’t give me much time to react.  So I did what any publisher of a smut magazine would do and that is chase her outside and yell her name before she had a chance to duck inside Fenway Park.   I did manage to slip her my business card and a copy of the Stool and told her we’d like to do an interview with her.  She seemed somewhat horrified.   And still haven’t heard from her yet.   Go figure.

You score, she strips. And the goalie is a siv.

Sticking with George Mason for a minute, the most obvious sign that they are a true mid major is by looking at the wardrobe of the band.  Are they wearing practice shirts?  My guess is that all these things were rolled up into a ball somewhere in the locker room and they just grabbed them because they had nothing else to wear.    It reminds me of when Rocky wore that robe with the meat locker on the back.   Frankly, I'm not sure which is uglier? I wonder if Paulie negotiated the George Mason deal too.   Anyway, now that the Patriots are into the Final Four the band needs to splurge and get matching undershirts at the very least.      They just look sloppy here.

This is our first official blog entry and I'm not sure if it even really counts since I'm just telling you to go read somebody else's blog. But this link is a pretty good documentary of the George Mason vs. Uconn game. I'd like to just add that I too was singing Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer during this game. I was singing it after UConn hit the last second layup to send it to overtime and give them a chance to cover the 5 pt spread. (I bought 3 points) However after George Mason ran UConn off the court in overtime I quickly changed my tune to Bloody Sunday. There is no doubt that the worst aspect of gambling is when you find yourself rooting for David in David vs. Goliath and that's exactly what happened to me yesterday. In fact, some may argue that the ONLY reason George Mason keeps winning is because El Pres keeps betting against them. As crazy as this theory sounds, there may just be something to it. After all, I did have LSU in my final four. (Last Year)